"Do one thing every day that scares you." Eleanor Roosevelt

Friday, July 30, 2010

Patience and Perseverance


The fledgling flew from a low bush to a scraggly pine - a distance of no more than fifteen or twenty feet. Landing, he rested on a branch for several minutes. Then he flew back to the low bush. The bird repeated this loop - bush to pine to bush - over and over and over. I lost count of the number of these practice flights. Every once in a while, he would fly back to his nest, located in an outside light fixture, between the bush and the pine. An adult and two babies still sat in the nest. The pattern reminded me of my son, who at two, began to move away from me, in the house, yard, or park. Putting space between us, bit by bit, and then, suddenly, running back to me, wrapping his arms around my leg as if to make sure I was still there. Then he was off again.

Finally, the fledgling lengthened his flight - bush to pine to electrical wire. And then, the longest stretch yet - from the wire back to the low bush. Again and again and again.

I don't know how long this practice session went on; I would guess a full hour or more. I was captivated by the patience and perseverance of the bird as he moved toward independence. Over and over he went back to the task at hand; with practice, he got faster and stronger, he improved and gained confidence. He pushed past his limitations and flew.

Recently I've become a birder; created my own life list and always carry a bird book and binoculars in the car with me. I took a six week class in bird identification and in the last session, the instructor offered one final piece of advice: be still and let the birds come to you. To watch birds, it was necessary for me to stop moving, to be still and to be patient, which is not one of my personal strengths.

It always intrigues me how much I get from trying something new . . . bird watching has been no exception. Several friends and I have enjoyed time together on Saturday mornings, sipping coffee at the edge of Mill River, talking softly and watching a kingfisher perch in a tall tree, an elegant egret glide past us or hearing the song of a cardinal. I've seen a red-tail hawk claim its prey. I can be patient and wait; to be rewarded by the sight of something new - this past week, I added a glossy ibis to my list. I've become more observant and to watch birds, I need to be outside.

These are lessons that apply to my writing as well: observation, practice, going back to the task at hand can only result in my work improving. With patience and perseverance, like a fledgling, I will improve, gain confidence, and I will fly.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Unexpected Gifts

It was a birthday without expectations. I was away from my family and closest friends. I knew there would be a stack of cards with meaningful sentiments waiting for me when I returned home. And a few voice messages with humorous comments about being a year older if not wiser. Mixed in the pile on the kitchen counter would be three greetings that arrive every year: a card from a college friend who never fails to remember my birthday; an envelope from a friend who taught at my children's elementary school. In her card, she always included an update on her life. Unlike annual Christmas letters, it is a great pleasure to receive her note in July as I have time to focus on her words and time to send a short note back to her. Finally, there will be a small package from my oldest friend, of thirty-eight years. He always marks my birthday and St. Patrick's Day (my favorite small holiday) with a carefully chosen gift: very often a small book or unique music.

Instead, on this birthday, I woke on a small island off the coast of Connecticut with more than 90 writers. I'm in the 8th day of my MFA summer residency and only a few people in the program know it's my birthday. I will receive emails from my immediate family, but beyond that, I assumed it would be just another day 'on island' for me.

At breakfast, however, a woman, new to the program, came by the table and in her soft voice, said "Happy Birthday" as she gave me a small, pretty gift bag that held several pieces of chocolate. I was astonished at the unexpected gifts - the chocolate, but also, the kindness. Birthday greetings came from others at the table as well as a groan from my friend, sitting to my left, who exclaimed "I suck" as she acknowledged that she had forgotten what day it was. Several hours later, as my morning workshop was winding down, I glanced out the window and saw Jimmy, my husband, framed in the view. He smiled at me with a look that said "got you!"
I fumbled for my Blackberry and tried to be discrete as I sent him a text that said "be done in 15 minutes. What's wrong?" "Nothing. Just came to see you. HB" was his reply. Outside the classroom, after I introduced him to the members of my workshop, he said from the initial look on my face, he wasn't sure that I was glad to see him. I assured him that I was but his visit was so unexpected, that I was caught off guard and thought that something had happened that I needed to hear about in person. He said, again, he just wanted to see me. He was very pleased that he had surprised me.

Throughout the day of no expectations, unexpected moments unfurled that when woven together created a perfect birthday. Beautiful summer weather, my husband's visit, a chorus of voices singing Happy Birthday as I blew out a single candle on a slice of chilled cheesecake, greetings on Facebook from far-flung family and friends, an email from Botswana, a bit of live theater during the evening readings, and the time to share a long session of girl talk about life, love, children, and the things that make us who we are.

Often the gifts that mean the most to me are the unexpected one: a new friend, a well chosen gift that confirms that someone has listened to me and knows what is important in my life, time to share coffee on a Friday morning or time to enjoy mocha chunky chip ice cream on a sultry summer night, a handwritten letter, a single flower, or a visit from my husband, who after thirty years, can still surprise me.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

4th of July Reflection

Just a moment to reflect as we celebrate the birth of our nation.

America by Walt Whitman

Centre of equal daughters, equal sons,
All, all alike endear'd, grown, ungrown, young or old,
Strong, ample, fair, enduring, capable, rich
Perennial with the Earth, with Freedom, Law and Love,
A grand, sane, towering, seated Mother,
Chair'd in the adamant of time.