Beginnings, Endings ... and a New Beginning

Two years ago, I began a low residency MFA program at Fairfield University. I was a member of the first cohort in the new creative writing program.

Through 5 residencies, ten intense days each in January and July, I worked with dedicated writing colleagues and inspiring faculty. We talked, laughed, discussed writing, reading, publishing, and the future of books. Workshops, seminars, wine, talent shows, student readings, nightly socializing in the community room, music, stunning seasonal sunrises and sunsets, and a New Years' Day polar bear plunge became part of the fabric of our evolving program. Between residencies, I worked with dedicated faculty mentors intent on helping me become a better writer, one page at a time. As with any intense experience, there were occasions of disagreement, disappointment, and doubt but what I gained was worth the difficult moments.

In working on my memoir, Pickle Earrings, I discovered a voice, my voice, that became bolder and more confident with each revision. I knew the work would be difficult, not just the writing and editing, but the self examination, answering the questions that surfaced, and having my work critiqued in small, intimate workshops. There were stretches of time when I was unsure that I would complete the requirements for graduation. But I did.

In the end, on January 4, 2011, twenty-five writers of poetry, fiction, and nonfiction walked across the stage in a chapel full of family, friends, mentors, and fellow students.

As one of the final requirements of graduation, each graduate chose 2 lines that represented their work. The lines were read aloud as we walked across the stage. I took a long time to select two sentences that represented the thousands of words that I had written. My final choice incorporated themes that appeared in my work : my mother, family, flowers, and a sense of safety:

"For a few weeks, when ruffled by the breeze, the fragrance of the deep purple flowers infused my room, reviving my own summer memory: playing punch ball in our side yard, running toward third base, one of my mother's lilac bushes, grabbing a fistful of leaves just before the ball whizzed past my back. I was safe."

And, now a new beginning.

Having earned my MFA degree, I don't know what is next for me but I know that I will keep on writing.

September - October - November

September 6th is the last time I added an entry to this blog ... where have the weeks gone? The days pass, one by one, almost unnoticed, because that is what days do ... they pass by as I live my life, maintain my home, tutor, do laundry, have fun, laugh and cry, walk the dog, cheer for the NY Giants, celebrate my 30th wedding anniversary -- among other things.

What is on your list?

My list also includes finishing my thesis for graduation from Fairfield University's MFA program in January, 2011. What is the best word to get this idea across? How did I feel at that particular moment? What did I learn? Why did that happen? Questions, seeking answers, finding the perfect phrase, probing deeper to discovery something about me and the world around me -- I have been immersed in the quest. Sometimes frustrated, sometimes angry, often surprised; moved to laughter, to tears, to joy; I achieved moments of revelation and suffered moments of deep fear. I have revealed myself -- to me, to family and friends, and to strangers.

I will meet the deadline for graduation.

For the first time in weeks, I'm not consumed by the work; I'm able to look up from my workspace (which suffers from a serious clutter problem currently) and to think about something other than creating a scene or unpacking an emotion. I have time to read my book club's current selection without feeling guilty that I should be reading a book for my program.

Just as the weather is changing from autumn to early winter, I am ready for a change. I am ready to push back from my desk, tidy up, discard drafts 2-20+ (everything is backed up - twice - on the computer), and look at something new. My final residency is coming up - I will teach, serve as a TA, present a lengthy reading, and if all goes well, graduate with the 26 men and women who have traveled with me the past two years.

Packing and Priorities

How do I pack for 19 days and 3 seasons - actually 4, if I include the rain! And 8 flights. Four are long, international flights, three will be across Africa and one will be a small, very small, plane to Zanzibar, an island off the coast of Tanzania. EIGHT flights - EIGHT airports - EIGHT security checks. [I'll be able to write a book just about airport experiences after this trip] A road trip is easy: if I pack too much, it stays in the car. I don't have to keep moving suitcases. Travel in the US is easy: I can easily replace a forgotten tube of Crest toothpaste. But for this trip I need to pack very carefully. I need just what I need. My secret - layers and dark colors. But, in the midst browns and blacks will be splashes of color: vibrant red and purple.

19 days is a easy when compared to packing for more than 2 years. When my daughter was preparing to leave for Lesotho, she needed to pack for a new adventure, different cultural norms, four seasons and the unknown. A winter coat and Uggs to summer shirts and flip flops went into her suitcase But what do you pack to make a new country feel like home? She couldn't take everything. It was interesting to watch her decide what was most important. Her cell phone and music were priorities but also: favorite pictures, a few books, her journal, a camera, comfortable T-shirts to remind her of places and events. A college sweatshirt. How many pairs of shoes did she need? And a few new items such as a solar powered charger for her phone. She has no electricity, water, or plumbing.

What makes a place home for you? I always travel with two items. Whether I'm away overnight, at my Fairfield University MFA residency, or visiting friends for a long weekend, I always have a favorite photo of my children with me. And my camera. Documenting family, friends, travel or day-to-day events is important to me.

I anticipate that I'll find that my daughter's idea of what is necessary to make a place home has changed. I imagine her priorities will be different given what she has experienced over the past 17 months. As I take pictures of her, her home, and the world she lives in, I have a feeling my priorities will change also.